And, to refresh your memory…
Strategy #1: Become thoroughly addicted to electronic devices. Computers, cell phones, tablets, Kindles, Nooks – if it has a glaring, glowing screen, use it as much as possible. Start first thing in the morning and don’t let up until you go to bed. Squint at the screen as much as possible, especially late at night, when the glare from the screen will carry the added benefit of disrupting your sleep (see helpful hint #5, coming soon). Best of all is the habit of hunching over your computer or phone in “inquisitive turtle” position; these behaviors are especially hard on the eyes and neck, virtually ensuring a headache!
Strategy #2: Make junk food a staple of your diet. Junk food tends to be loaded with salt, which is dehydrating to the whole body, including the brain; this actually causes the brain to shrink and pull away from the inside from the skull, which — surprise! — can make your head hurt. Junk food also is a huge source of starch and sugar, which induce a blood sugar rollercoaster, where blood sugar spikes too high, then falls too low, producing a headache. Those delicious junky munchies also tend to contain MSG, a notorious headache-producer, and bodacious amounts of preservatives such as nitrites and nitrates, which increase blood flow, leading to headaches. Drive-thrus, here you come – and bonus points for eating stuff you already know makes your head hurt. Score!